corrosion 

injustice 

corroding my heart like

Acid

Gnawing at my insides

Like a feral animal

Teeth sharp and diseased

Flesh hanging from

Merciless jaws 

Because 

Innocents pay 

For the crimes of the wicked 

And good people are 

suffocated

By the crushing weight 

Evil acts of others

While perpetrators walk free.

There is no justice.

But

Do I pull another

Innocent under

To save myself from drowning?

I never wanted you to

Feel this pain

But I can’t contain it

By myself much longer

I don’t want to

Break your heart

As mine was

To make you want to

Scream until you can’t breathe

Blame yourself

Agonising guilt

Lose the will to

Live

Feel your world shatter

Your blood stop

Flowing

For everything to change

For you

Should I swallow this

To save you from the

Unspeakable truth

The trauma 

I have lived like this

For many years

Burying it deep

I’ve survived 

Gasping for air

I’m still here

I could do it

I know how

But I don’t want to

Merely survive anymore

I want to run and 

Laugh and take back

Those years I lost in the

Dark

To feel carefree as a 

Child 

To press play

On the moment my life paused

To live again

Am I selfish?

As a mother I can

Feel the gut-wrenching agony

To know my baby

Was hurt

That I didn’t stop it

That I didn’t know

The helplessness

The anger

The agony

Agony.

Am I selfish?

I wouldn’t wish this on 

Anyone

I don’t want for you to 

share in my pain

I just want it to stop

Should I protect you forever

And take this to my grave

Will I never sing

Like the caged bird

Will I never fly 

Would you want that for me?

I wish you could tell me

What you would want me to do

Would you want to know?

I would

But from my place I know

The prison

And I would not want my 

Baby 

In there alone

I would sit down next to

Them on the 

Cold dirty floor

Scream with them

Into the nothingness

Carry them through the fire

So they never have to face it

Alone 

But then I have lived through this

Hell

It has hardened me

I have seen the Devils face

And lived to tell

I have wrestled with demons

That sought to kill me

Ripped out their throats

While I lay

Barely breathing 

Exhausted from battle

Only to get up 

And face a new battle

Tomorrow

I wish I hadn’t 

Lived this

But I have. 

And I can take the darkness

Can you?

To me

You are fragile

Breakable, thin glass

Your heart like a bird’s

But I also see courage 

And I’m sure 

You’ve endured more than 

I know

Could you endure the weight of this?

Should I continue to

carry it alone

A bomb strapped to my chest

Ready to detonate 

What would you want?

I wish I knew how 

You would react

The moment I’ve feared

And dreaded, would be

Life for me

And a death for you

I don’t want you to hurt

Why is this power in my hands

I wish it could be taken from me 

Choice made

To be carried like a 

Small child

Away from this

Place of carnage and destruction

Protected

I have lived his nightmare once

Twice

And then every day since

Do I deserve the day

When the nightmare ends and I 

get to wake up?

Would telling you be worth 

Having your sleep

Disturbed 

To be awoken from a 

Good dream

With the realisation that 

Reality

Is the nightmare?

What should I do 

What would you want 

For this cancer to 

eat me alive?

Or to never have to 

Feel that life shattering 

Pain.

I don’t want your 

soul 

to 

Die

But

I want to be free